"Get the shallot out of your hair, that's just weird."

My coworker, Heather, was sharing her AMAZING leftovers with another coworker. This lovely gem was exclaimed right after a shallot fell into the other coworker's hair. Oh, the random awesomeness we witness at work...

"If this is what hate tastes like, I want to eat a Westboro Baptist!"

-Aaron Woodall

Aaron is an old friend of mine from when I lived in Maryland. He is now making his way as an awesome comedian. This quote is from a show he did that I got on DVD for Christmas 2014. He was talking about all the folks boycotting Chik-Fil-A because they have a stance about homosexuality and when he eats there, he has been asked things like, "So, what does hate taste like?"

"You should sue the city for building the sidewalk so close to your butt!"

-A friend's mother

"Our committees seem to reproduce asexually around here!"

-Said at work by a past supervisor of mine.

"When you're not blonde and thin, you come up with a personality real quick."

-Kathy Najimy

"There's a no one way to dance. And that's kind of my philosophy about everything."

-Ellen Degeneres

"The most likely moment for something incredible to happen to me was the moment I was most certain nothing ever would."

-Anonymous

"People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

-Mary Angelou

"You're always with yourself, so you might as well enjoy the company."

-Diane Von Furstenberg

"Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith."

-Proverbs 15:17

"Success is falling nine times and getting up ten."

-Jon Bon Jovi

"It's a whole lot more satisfying to reach for the stars, even if you end up landing only on the moon."

-Kermit The Frog

"Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children; and walk in love, as Christ also has loved us, and has given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet smelling savour."

Ephesians 5:1-2

"Never be afraid to laugh at yourself. After all, you could be missing out on the joke of the century."

-Dame Edna Everage

"Sometimes the path you're on is not as important as the direction you're heading."

-Kevin Smith

" Sometimes when almost everything is wrong, one thing is so right you would do it all again."

-Alice Randall

"There are a lot of things happening that show us that this, right now, is a time to love."

-Stevie Wonder

"My father used to say, if you want to be different, do something different."

-Wynston Marsalis

"The finish line is just the beginning of a whole new race."

-Susan Saint James

"I think miracles exist in part as gifts and in part as clues that there is something beyond the flat world we see."

-Peggy Noonan

"I want a different dentist; they're all Japanese! The Japanese are building a bomb to drop on Alaska.... They're all Japanese, those people. I want a different dentist!"

The client from the meeting mentioned below said this before having to leave her meeting.  Oh how I wish I could crawl in some of our clients' minds for just a short moment to see what's really going on up there.  

I had to hide my astonished and humored facial expressions until she left the room.  Then I politely busted up in very subdued laughter.  Come on, I'm only human.  Nobody complained.

"No!"

I was in another client meeting yesterday that involved an entire treatment team.  The client lasted all of 10 minutes and then was redirected elsewhere outside the office; it was a 2 hour meeting.  Keep in mind that I work mostly with mentally ill adults; this happens more frequently than I wish.

The public appointed guardian was participating by speaker phone and the rest of us were physically there.

The client's case manager said to the team, "She wants a cat".  Immediately and very sternly blasted through the speaker phone was the above statement.

Never thought the word "no" could leave such an impact; it was scary and admittedly funny all at the same time.

"Only what I draw on paper."

One of the clinicians at work asked a client, "Do you ever see anything other people don't see?" and above is what the client calmly and exactly said in response.  Goosebumps... it gave me goosebumps.

"I don't hear voices... I listen to my CD player, that's the only voices I hear."

As said by one of my clients during a recent meeting.

"I don't want to go back there."

As said by one of my clients in a calm, reflective manner after sharing a little about his 3 years spent in jail; it touched my heart.