"I want a different dentist; they're all Japanese! The Japanese are building a bomb to drop on Alaska.... They're all Japanese, those people. I want a different dentist!"

The client from the meeting mentioned below said this before having to leave her meeting.  Oh how I wish I could crawl in some of our clients' minds for just a short moment to see what's really going on up there.  

I had to hide my astonished and humored facial expressions until she left the room.  Then I politely busted up in very subdued laughter.  Come on, I'm only human.  Nobody complained.

"No!"

I was in another client meeting yesterday that involved an entire treatment team.  The client lasted all of 10 minutes and then was redirected elsewhere outside the office; it was a 2 hour meeting.  Keep in mind that I work mostly with mentally ill adults; this happens more frequently than I wish.

The public appointed guardian was participating by speaker phone and the rest of us were physically there.

The client's case manager said to the team, "She wants a cat".  Immediately and very sternly blasted through the speaker phone was the above statement.

Never thought the word "no" could leave such an impact; it was scary and admittedly funny all at the same time.

"Only what I draw on paper."

One of the clinicians at work asked a client, "Do you ever see anything other people don't see?" and above is what the client calmly and exactly said in response.  Goosebumps... it gave me goosebumps.

"I don't hear voices... I listen to my CD player, that's the only voices I hear."

As said by one of my clients during a recent meeting.

"I don't want to go back there."

As said by one of my clients in a calm, reflective manner after sharing a little about his 3 years spent in jail; it touched my heart.

"I would like to write an autobiography of my life to tell people I'm not schizophrenic."

As said by one of my clients during a meeting in a manner that made me completely believe that it is something he can do.

"It sounds like somebody has God in their cubicle."

This is what one of my coworkers uttered, probably louder than she intended, upon hearing a fellow coworker and friend playing soft Christmas music on his computer this morning before too many people were in the office. It was a sweet, tender, laugh-till-you-fall-off-your-office-chair moment; you really should have been there.

"Care to join me for an oxygen-deprivation stick?"

This is how one co-worker asked another co-worker if they wanted to go outside and smoke today.  I have to laugh; I used to call cigarettes cancer sticks... but this totally wins.

“Computer, look! I got you a geek!”

-One of the clinicians at work as she brought an IT guy into her office.

(Oh my gosh, I nearly fell off my chair laughing!)

"Jo, you're my prayer."

-Xiong

I was helping my friend Xiong edit one of his English papers and asked him why he bothers having me edit them if his professor isn't very strict on stuff anyway.   He compared me with prayer.  We could not pray at all and probably have a good life, but why risk it?  He could probably not have me edit and tear apart his papers and escape with a passing grade, but why risk it?  Hence the quote, which made me feel pretty special.

"I ordered her from China. When she hit ground she ran away!"

-Xiong

Xiong and I got on the random topic of wedding receptions and funny reasons why one would be canceled at the very last minute.  This got me laughing pretty hard.  Xiong, you rock!

"I'm 99% sure this is the guy I want to spend my life with, like scary eternity crap."

-Laurie

Sometimes girls just need to chat.  And yes, our conversations go deep sometimes.  

As Laurie pointed out regarding eternity...

Galaxies implode and it will be like moments.  Dude, let's not even talk of the civilizations that will pass in a blink of an eye.  That's freaking scary.  It's comforting, but still scary.  You'll have the knowledge of the ages available to you, and also know the truth of the eternities.  My mind gets blown when I try to learn quantum physics or electrical theory... so "scary eternity crap" I think fits well.

"After our second speaker we will sing hymn 129 which is... in the hymn book."

-Bishop Jackson

This last Sunday at the pulpit Bishop Jackson was announcing the closing hymn and couldn't remember the title of it.  It was one of the best moments I've had in church for a while.  I just love how Heavenly Father KNOWS when we need a little laughter now and then.  Good for Bishop, who was laughing too, most of the ward was out in Wasilla for the weekend attending YSA conference and missed our special moment.  

They really missed out.

“There’s one in every state! There are fifty two of us!”

-Me

Today is the day after the breakup and I am sitting drowning my sorrows in Moosetracks and Bear Foot Brownie icecream, Oreos, and Nutella with Laurie, Rachel, Nicole, and Michelle. Lovely ladies these are, great friends. We all need some girl time sometimes.

One problem. I'm sensitive to sugar and at this moment, I feel like I'm... drunk, well sort of.

So Laurie said she has a lot of friends named Joanna and I piped up jokingly that there's one in every state that she knows... and then, well, you see what happened. Magically I put in two extra states. Huh, maybe I shouldn't drive home....

"HELL is Southern!"

I was in the office doing paperwork the other day and heard the folks on the other side of the cubical wall chit-chatting about what makes a place "Southern". When nobody could agree on whether or not a place was technically Southern just because it's South of A laska.... this lovely quote was born.

"I have a memory like a skunk. It stinks!"

-Me

I said this once back with my original roomies at BYU and for some reason they got some big kick out of it. It may have been what sparked our original quote boards, but I can't remember.... hence the quote.

"He is never early either!"

-Jessi

We were in a group talking about our time versus God's time in regards to dating and marriage. I said something along the lines of, "God is never late." and Jessi (with her great wit) was thinking on her feet as she blurted out the lovely line above.

"Thank you for helping us choose the right... even if it's on the left side of the hymn book."

-Shad

Shad was praying in our institute of religion class and said that. There's a hymn in our hymnal that is titled, "Choose The Right". It IS on the left side of the hymnal. He was correct. But I can't believe he said this in his prayer! Or can I?